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\"\" — Taylor Swift at this year’s Grammy Awards (photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

We know, we know. You are sick of reading about Taylor Swift, whose glory and drama are rapidly crescendoing to Helen of Troy levels. Her face went from that which launched a thousand Grammy-winning breakup songs to one that has now, mind-bogglingly, launched a thousand political op-eds. The fate of the Super Bowl, the country, and perhaps all of humanity seem to depend on whom she will bless her red-lipped, golden-locked, blue-eyed wholesomeness with an endorsing smile. Or at least that was the story last week. And before the tide turns and we are swept away by the next media obsession, we wanted to showcase the uniquely Substackian way this phenomenon was covered by writers who write what they want, when and how they believe will best serve the readers who reward them, without catering to clickbait or profiting from frill and fury. What you get then are original, insightful, and often hilarious analyses on everything from Taylor Swift’s manicure to Taylor Swift’s navel to Taylor Swift’s publicist to Taylor Swift’s coverage in the New York Times and beyond—pieces, in short, that will never go out of style, even after publishing yet another piece about Taylor Swift inevitably does.

Sincerely,

The Members of the Tortured Poets Department

Top Substack reads: Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift does not exist—

She is bigger than Elvis, bigger than the Beatles, bigger than God. She has blasted herself on a jet of pure sugary Americana into every quiet crevice of global culture. She provides the texture of daily life for thirteen-year-old Indonesian girls with hijabs and hard-scraping eyes. There are swathes of rebel bushland in central Africa where children tear the guts out of the earth at gunpoint and the central government has no power at all—but Taylor Swift does. In my travels across China, the only Western music you’d ever hear playing anywhere belonged to Taylor Swift. She’s not a solitary human being; she’s Coca-Cola. She has fundamentally changed the inner workings of the record industry, show ticketing, intellectual property—why not? Let’s say music theory too. She invented tone. She invented pitch. Taylor Swift seems destined to be remembered by our drooling, mud-eating descendants as a kind of culture hero, the mythical source of everything left for them to inherit. First was she who plucked strings and made pleasant sounds. Who taught man to spin thread and mark the hours of the sun. She who scattered the stars in the sky. She’s kind of a big deal. Continue reading

Why I won’t shut up about Taylor Swift—

I suspect some of you might be wondering why I keep railing on about Taylor Swift, a person I purportedly am not interested in. Well, I suppose it’s because it is strange to watch billions of people become brainwashed into not just believing but insisting that a thing that by all objective standards is neither good nor interesting is amazing, groundbreaking, and worth freaking out over.
But also, music matters to me. Continue reading

The Taylor Swift Manicure That Has Unsettled My Spirit—

There is something fascinating about the way perhaps the most famous non-Julia Roberts white woman in the world chooses to present herself. I’ve seen the theory circulated online (and sometimes in the comment section of this newsletter) that Taylor Swift has to dress like a girl waiting to get picked up from Woodland Hills Mall because approachability is part of her brand. Beyoncé is the impenetrable, divine, musical savant; Ariana has the voice and the curious taste in partners. Dua Lipa can’t dance but she’s so cool. Onstage at the Eras Tour, sitting at a piano, Taylor Swift talks about being lonely and covered in cat hair. (She is a billionaire.) Continue reading

Not Another Story About Taylor Swift—

The global phenomenon that is the pop superstar Taylor Swift is in a romance with the football star Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs. They both have supposed liberal politics, which has led to an unhinged reaction from the MAGA world, especially because the Chiefs are playing the 49ers (from the apparently post-apocalyptic hellhole of San Francisco) in the Super Bowl. It seems like everyone wants to chime in, which has released all the cultural, sexist, and conspiracy-laden detritus that one might expect would saturate our social-media-obsessed and divided nation during a presidential election year.
Whew. And that’s just scratching the surface. Continue reading

Who’s afraid of Taylor Swift and Joni Mitchell?—

Trump strategists understand Swift’s power.
They know she has previously mobilized new voters. They know she embraced Biden in 2020—and far more than most top artists (who may seem liberal, but are reticent to do electoral or “partisan” campaigning for many reasons). They know her huge fan base includes people who might not otherwise vote, or vote for Biden—and whom she might impact this November.
So lately, prominent conservatives are adopting a two-part strategy: publicly plead with Swift to sit out this election, and try to “show the risk” of getting involved, by piling on attacks and conspiracy theories. Continue reading

Why Does Taylor Swift Make People Insane?—

It has been nearly 15 years since Kanye West stormed the stage at the MTV Video Music Awards to protest Taylor Swift’s win over Beyoncé in the “Best Female Video” category. His shockingly rude interruption was a preview of his own descent into madness. It was also a preview of how large swathes of America would descend into madness over Swift. Continue reading

Can Taylor Swift Save the Republic?—

The Netflix documentary about the superstar captures the moment she decided to get political and endorse two Tennessee Democrats in the 2022 midterms. (Swift also spearheaded the registration of 35,000 new voters statewide.) If she does the same for Biden this fall, it could make a huge difference, especially with younger voters. With Travis Kelce now also under attack from right-wingers, he might step forward, too, which would help Biden cut Trump’s large lead with white men. The two of them campaigning for Biden could do more than anything else to put him over the top. Continue reading

Taylor Swift Exposed The GOP Freakshow By Being Normal—

There’s nothing terribly interesting underlying this bizarre freakout. Swift has millions of devoted fans and is also a liberal who endorsed Biden in 2020. Since this year’s election is shaping up as a 2020 rematch, she’s likely to endorse Biden again. If that’s interesting for any reason, it’s because it exposes the intentionality behind the Big Lie: The same propagandists who apparently fear Swift’s mobilizing powers also claim Trump won in 2020—if their “rigged election” conspiracy theories were sincerely held, they wouldn’t fear that Swift’s endorsement might make Biden unbeatable. Continue reading

Everyone Please Be Less Weird About Taylor Swift. Please.—

With the Kansas City Chiefs headed to the Super Bowl, right-wing influencers, politicians, and ne’er-do-wells have worked themselves up into a conspiratorial lather with theories involving Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, the COVID-19 vaccine, Taylor Swift, and Joe Biden. It’s all pretty ridiculous. How ridiculous, you ask? CNN investigative reporter Andy Kaczynski tweeted that it “is some of the most poison-brained stuff I’ve seen on this website.” Yowza. That’s a high bar! Continue reading

Taylor Swift and How to Win the Culture War—

The Right Wing’s bizarre conspiracy theory about the Deep State scripting the Super Bowl so that Taylor Swift could help Biden win has been the topic of the week; one of the few things that actually broke through in our disaggregated, chaotic, confusing media ecosystem. [...]
Beyond making fun of these yahoos, there is something notable about the Right Wing picking a fight with America’s most popular singer, one of its most popular athletes, and the most popular sport by far on the occasion of what will be the most watched television event of the year. The “Taylor Swift is an op” accusation is an example of the Democrats’ continuing and too often unrealized opportunity to paint the Republicans as out-of-touch. Continue reading

Perhaps Taylor Swift Isn’t the Defining Political Issue of Our Times—

The story represents so much of the detritus of a broken culture: you’ve got the replacement of a nuthouse Jesus-is-coming right wing with a paranoiac and obsessive the-Jews-are-coming right wing, the increasingly deranged worship of celebrity, the endless retreat into an exhausting political binarism, the contemporary liberal urge to treat immensely powerful people as underdogs, the era of mandated artistic populism, the triviality of American collapse, the overwhelming fear people in the media have of looking old. But I want to focus specifically on a topic related to all of that, which is treating consumption as a substitute for politics. This is one of the clearer examples of the way that many people, many political people, now unthinkingly presume that their politics is simply a function of their capitalist consumption, their brand affinities. Who you are is what you buy. Continue reading

Taylor Swift made Fox News care about climate change—

What if this strange MAGA obsession with Swift being a *checks notes* secret agent sent by the Pentagon to push covid vaccines is a good thing? Let’s think about it for a minute. If this odd conspiracy theory can make conservatives care about climate change, what else can it do? What if Swift being a billionaire converts Fox News hosts into supporting a wealth tax or a decent tax code? Think of the revolutionary power that could come from this weird new passion! Continue reading

Seen another great post on Substack recently about the Taylor Swift phenomenon? Share the link in the comments!